So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
