respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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