captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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