Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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