he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
