I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
