sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
