New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
