Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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