So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
