you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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