I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
