I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
