I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
