lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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