i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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