my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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