I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
