and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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