Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
