I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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