I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
