Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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