Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
