she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
