you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
