AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
