after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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