FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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