I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
