im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
