well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
