I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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