Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
