Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
