did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
