This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
