watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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