yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.