The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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