I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.