so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
