Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
