Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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(941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie http://tfl.nu/ovq9

Replies (16) Good night (1011) Bad night (1516)
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(954): View more from Florida

Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer

(1-954): View more from Florida

That Cesar Milan is captivating

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(954): Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer (1-954): That Cesar Milan is captivating http://tfl.nu/iuqa

Replies (4) Good night (1898) Bad night (789)
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(269): View more from Michigan

So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.

(937): View more from Ohio

Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...

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(269): So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night. (937): Feels good to be wearing underwear again though... http://tfl.nu/djzk

Replies (2) Good night (3608) Bad night (653)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I am in shape. i keep telling you that.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."

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(313): I am in shape. i keep telling you that. (1-313): Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape." http://tfl.nu/2t6h

Replies (28) Good night (1041) Bad night (3691)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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(902): Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/sk8g

Replies (33) Good night (593) Bad night (2876)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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(613): You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese. http://tfl.nu/lvqg

Replies (9) Good night (4764) Bad night (984)
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(315): View more from New York

My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.

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(315): My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best. http://tfl.nu/ofn0

Replies (32) Good night (6549) Bad night (987)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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(503): Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab. http://tfl.nu/if5q

Replies (14) Good night (880) Bad night (3479)
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(303): View more from Colorado

im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

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(303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm

Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (3796)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?

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(901): Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper? http://tfl.nu/q7x9

Replies (17) Good night (4412) Bad night (917)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity

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(218): He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity http://tfl.nu/7l4i

Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (566)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry

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(774): And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry http://tfl.nu/4n0l

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (1303)
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(206): View more from Washington

You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.

(360): View more from Washington

1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you

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(206): You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits. (360): 1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you http://tfl.nu/1254

Replies (9) Good night (2518) Bad night (536)
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(309): View more from Illinois

He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?

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(309): He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned? http://tfl.nu/05n3

Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (1831)
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(208): View more from Idaho

He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive

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(208): He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive http://tfl.nu/2kfh

Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (116)

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