I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..