dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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