i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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