Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
