i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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