My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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