Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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