i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I want her autograph on my taint
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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