its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
