Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so let's talk penis.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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