Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize