we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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