I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
