Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
