Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Rumble strips road head = magical
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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