Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
