The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
