Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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