you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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