you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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