your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
