Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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