I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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