But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
