You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
